BERKELEY, CA—Citing compelling fossil evidence that the prehistoric
species died suddenly and treacherously, paleontologists at the
University of California, Berkeley announced Monday that dinosaurs were
almost certainly killed by someone they trusted. “Our findings indicate
that someone, we don’t know who, spent at least 150 million years
gaining the confidence of dinosaurs before abruptly betraying them and
taking their lives near the end of the Cretaceous Era,” said lead
researcher Professor Janet Bower, adding that dinosaurs likely had an
innately innocent and unsuspecting nature that this individual could
exploit to get within easy striking distance. “The distribution and
condition of dinosaur bones strongly suggests that these creatures died
without a struggle and that they had been caught totally off-guard by an
individual they naively considered a friend. Those that had time to
regard their killer were no doubt absolutely shocked.” Bower went on to
suggest that if the mightiest creatures to walk the face of the earth
could be wiped out by letting someone get close to them, humanity could
too.
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